Violet cathedral hologram

In the half-sleep I became aware of a sort of violet cathedral-shaped hologram that was placed over my head. The information that came with it was that this is a hologram that transmutes deformed energy into health. So a healing template. Temple … template .. words that actually lie close together. I begin to understand something from what kind of blueprint cathedrals are actually designed.

Where does this information come from? I think from inner guidance. I had looked at this Youtube:

Maybe it had something to do with it. Information given from a high level of attunement, which is not only destined for a selected group of people. Every person has full right to and access to mystical experiences. It is just what you want to focus on. Also mentioned in this video.

Energie healing

Ok, I’m writing about energy. Not everyone will understand or resonate with it but those who are meant to read it will find it.

Free to write about it here, in this blog.
It was inconvenient, to have a backache and migraine while being on a four days outing in Gent, end of april. Later on heard it was on in a moment in time when the galactic waves were intense. Bringing to the surface that what is meant to surface in order to be cleared.

Silently prayed to the bealing angels for healing while passing St Baaf Cathedral in a cold windy hailstorm.

Got it instantly. Felt how it popped into my head, benedicting the vulnarable spot in my head, like a white liquid light, gelling into the left part of the head, where the migraine always is, filling it. The perfect substance that the physical body can integrate. 

Thank you healing angels. Think they’re very skilled, know exactly how much to infuse like an energy medine, the right substance, the right amount for the moment. It’s the healing of the future. Athough it has always been there. It will be integrated with modern science more and more. Many people working for that. Facilitating that.

There’s always help, but we have to ask because humans have a free will. But when we ask there is help, always.

Thank you, healing angels.

The ‘I shoulds and oughts’

On a free day like today, I try to get out of bed because I want to, not because I should. This causes me to stay in bed longer, being with the resistance felt because of all the I ‘shoulds and oughts’ in the conditioning. Not shooting at the shoulds, I sink back into the halfsleep, that brings the breath deep into the spots of the resistance. These spots have a shape, old conditioning from old paradigms. Like contracted spots on the skin of an orange. Perhaps this is the pain body. This deep breath is a very healing breath, it goes automatically, deeply into the spots. Now these spots have dissolved more, softened. 

What motivates me to jump out of bed without any thinking or resistance is to grab the I-pad and write this down, back in bed again. 

Motivation is a great motor. No more ‘I shoulds and oughts’. Much healthier for the system. Wonder if there ever will be a time without any shoulds and oughts.
I should get out of bed now in order to perform some tasks. They have to be done. No way around it. Having to go for a pee will do it this time.


There is the light that is nonphysical and there is the light that infuses into the body in healing, relieving the part in it that became the pain body in a certain layer. Like a distorted hologram or energy field, causing a distortion in the cells and tissues. Infusing into this distortion the light of our attention, awareness, is healing. Not from a personal perspective, but lined up to the whole. At the same time, while being in this atunement/alignment, we are also going to the inside of the physical sensation of the pain, ‘leaning into it’, in the body, where we feel it is located. That promotes great relieve. The body becomes lighter, more transparent. Old pain is removed from the tissues and cells. As Eckart Tollle says, we can only do this ourselves. I’d add here, there is also help from the higher spheres. Last night a nonphysical very fine, transparant blissfull light came to me. What was that? It was the sort of light I recognize from sufi atunements when we work with pure spirit. There was clear information to it that this was nonphysical light.  Also there was a spiraling of a sort of lightstar, like in the drawing game ‘spirograph’, that was moving towards a lightsource, it seemed to happen on a finer level, but I could  look into it in that moment. Love it when things like this happen. Keeping the light(being?) that came to me in my awareness, it stayed with me. Until my thoughts wandered away. Renewing the focus to it, it was there again. Being held in this light, the pain and conditionings in the body, also inherited, became very clear. Then the light merged with the physical body more. Then it became more invisible.  I now was simply in my body.

Should I say that here? We are to promote healing, awareness, which is realy love. Surrender is the greatest medicine. So that pils and operations will be less needed. Not saying that shouldn’t happen. We can be greatfull for them when they are needed. But we also know of the side effects.

Well ofcourse I doubt telling from these remarkable experiences. At the same time can’t wait to tell them. These experiences, I cannot evoke by will power. Perhaps I could when I was a very masterfull yogini. But obviously life’s experiences are my scholing way. So these light experiences are gifts from the universe. Might make a difference I’m the sort of person open to this. And I meditate regulary and do yoga and sufi practices. And am involved in distant healing for a long, long time. That happens on the finer levels too.

Whereas before we were adviced to keep our lips sealed, these days we begin to carefully relate from our mystical experiences, because we are ready. It also helps the merging of the mystical with medical science. For the advantages as said above. Our mystical experiences are part of life. They make us bloom more fully. Feel more whole. No more gab between spirit and matter. Everything is energy.

Sufis cast their (by the celestial purified and depersonalized, de-egonized) glance inwardly into certain areas of the body, like shining a searchlight on it. What comes to the light becomes light. Issues get sorted out, pain dissolves. In modern psychology it is the approach to feel into, as they say: ‘leaning into’ the physical sensations, because that’s how emotional pain manifests, in the body.  The older generation, like my mum’s, didn’t get these meditation/psychology tools handed out. In that case, healing is needed, like in the report in the posting ‘loosening a painbody’.

Picture is a blend, endeavoring to make a visual communication of the the experience of the spiraling star, moving to a lightsource. Worked on the colors, they come quite close now.  Only the lightsource the star moved to was more in front of me in a space, not filling a whole sky like on the picture.

The shatter of grudge

The new word is downloads. It had been happening to me.

I felt it.

Lovely caressing energies.

Angel love.

To cure the distress.

About what?

About not feeling understood.

About not seeming to be able to convey the message.
The thing is I really feel these waves of love flowing through me.

Must be angel love or otherwise.

It wants to comfort the things I can’t cope with, like getting over something that’s too deep to feel and understand but sometimes all of a sudden it has me in it’s grip.

I can’t explain it but it’s there. Sinking away into the half sleep, there’s clear explanations. It’s perfectly fitting in an orderly sequence of sentences of a clear presentation of what’s it’s about. All I have to do is write it down when I’m awake.

But now awake, it’s too far away.

The only thing that stayed with me is the title of what it’s about, and that was very clear and that is: THE SHATTER OF GRUDGE.

That’s the underlying emotion of a story playing out. That’s what needs to happen.

The shatter of grudge.

Very important.

How to shatter a grudge I don’t seem to be able to feel, but has it’s impact upon the situation. It’s in a reality under the surface of what is visible. The daily facts of life. What we see.

There’s a pain.

I can feel that.

It’s pushing against the ribcage from within.

Knocking against the door.

Like hey, I want to be seen, felt.

I shall have to focus my attention on it. Shine a searchlight on it. Breath into it.

Yes, that’s what I’m going to do.

I’ll get back to you later about this.
Not in order to revenge all the times when nobody was around when it was needed, because work is always more important. I would like to shatter that grudge.

Everything is in it’s grip.

Stealing the love and attention that could have been the cure.

The angels know that.

They are with me. When I’m feeling alone and in distress about not being able to convey a message that’s not clear, but wants to be seen, felt. They send waves of love and tell me to shatter the grudge. And at least give the message about this. About the waves of love, caressing the nerves.

Because I had asked for it. 

In a prayer. 

There’s always an answer. Must be the ask and it shall be given sort of a thing.

For those that want to know it.

So that’s what I’m trying to do.

Will the message be heard?
I’ll get back to you later.

When I’m sorted out.

First find peace, then it will be sorted out.

In peace, things fall into place.

No more grudge.


At last.

This writing is taking me there. Peace.

Thank you angels.


Picture comes from:

Loosening a painbody

Hello, New Year, new chapter, specified on healing.
We had been in the theme of dominance, pain bodies, relationships.

The funny thing is that some highly sensitive people that produce video’s beam back at you the information you need at the time when you have been watching their video’s. Their energy is in the room for few seconds, and the accompanying words, or just one word, or two, give you the information you need.

Like now, the theme is dominance. So picked up on that and felt called to try to work something out on this. In my case, now, in meditation, having worked with the wazaif for healing, after picking up on a certain pain, seeing the pain bodies of my grandmother and mother and how that is shaped. The keyword is dominance. We’re not going to blame any males, they had to adapt to the paradigms of their time, but that’s how it worked.

The etheric pain body shaped the physical body. Their backs grew crooked.

At times, like today, I feel in myself the pain body of my mother, in it her suppressed anger, her addiction on sigarets that keep her calm and the headache she experiences, when sigarets aren’t at hand, like now in the caring home where she’s only allowed to smoke in a special little room. I feel it like it is in myself.

As an emphat, being a family member, that’s how it works. At a distance, not being with her in the same room, but in my own house.

The best thing to do when feeling that pain, that causes me a headache, is to lay down and hold that pain body that I feel in myself in my awareness. There’s an angel with me working on this, she’s around me. Together we do the work. What happens is this: the pain body is loosened up a bit from the body, and light is infused in it, so that my mother experiences relief. Because she can’t do it herself.

I am grateful and delighted that I can do this work.

Don’t ask for a scientific explanation, that will come later. For now I just share my experience.

Thank you angel, thank you Universe.

I’ve tried to paint the pain body, very childish, with finger work in the app Paper, so the reddish one is what I feel in myself and the grey one is how it shapes the physical body. Therefore added a stick to make it clear.

Right below the bed where I lay, feeling that pain body, the angel around it and how light is infused into it, strengthened by the wazaif. 

Perhaps I should say something about the sort of ‘horns’ you see on the reddish painbody. There was also grey in it, not so visible here when mixed with the red in the painting. Ofcourse these are not real horns. More off an intensified reddish energy on the head. Also, in the painting, it looks like a separate body, but it really is a layer in the feeling body, taken apart here to make it clear.

About projection

In the past few months, endeavors have been there to try to define something that’s coming up from the subconscious and plays out in relationships. Male/female. I can start to talk from studies, having read books, magazines, seen video’s, but that would be repeating other peoples experiences and opinions. Therefore, for me the only way to be authentic is to relate what I read, see on video’s and discuss with friends to my own experiences.

The problem arises here that I have to protect the integrity of my friends and relationships. So then I can never really come out with things in the open. Is it necessary at all? Is it again that demanding wanting to be understood? Or do I write in order to pinpoint a phenomenon in order to straiten something in our culture to promote balance. Hope it is that last thing.

So, here we go, let’s see what we discover in trying to define.

What we are going to talk about is projection. I’m going to share my experiences from what happens within. 
As we probably all know by now, thought forms create a shape. Having been raised by a mum, the way culture had fashioned her, this made a deep impact. It contributed in the way we grew up, how her subtle body lovingly surrounded ours, we adapted the finer frequencies from hers into ours. We lived in it, it formed us.
Not sure if I can say this any further.

So there’s a gap that needs to be filled in for my understanding. Or……it is there, only different from the way my mind is trained to think.

For this we enter into a deeper layer of our experiencing. The fact that we begin to talk about childhood is that when we were very young, we still had that ability to know, experience things directly. How do you know that?? This, the western mind may question again.
There we go, it’s hard to define.

So now I’m just going to talk from vibrational experience.
I’m deeply interwoven with my mate. When I’m alone I experience myself as me. When he’s on the way back, I’m beginning to feel differently. I’m very trained to focus inwardly so I notice the change of colors, which are in fact frequencies. He has a very solid, green, grounding sort of energy that starts to be felt ‘in me’. It supports me.

In cases he goes through hard times that create stress, I see more red colors.

When we first met and a relationship grew, I noticed that my subtle body adapted to a feminine subtle body that felt very much like the way his mother was. Like I was mirroring that which he had been used to. Weird experience in fact and I’ve felt obstinate because of it because I wanted to feel who I was.

Another example. I relate this to what I’ve once read about Tibetan healers. When they are awaiting their client, before he or she enters the place where s(h)e is to be consulted, the Tibetan healers are already totally in tune with the ailment. They have the information about it ‘in themselves’. How different from the western medical approach, focussing on the outward manifestation of the illness. 

Feeling the condition of the other inside of me is exactly what I experience. This is what I apply in my teaching too. I feel the condition of others in myself and therefore I give the yoga exercise that I feel I’d need, feeling that condition. 

I’ve discussed these things with my sufi guide. She’s also a psychologist. She assures me that that sensitivity is a gift I have to treasure. A welcome contribution to the western outer approach. It’s always better to cure imbalances, diseases in the subtle body before they manifest in the physical body. That way operations or tough medicine perhaps aren’t needed. We say perhaps because it’s great it’s there when it is needed.

Back to projection.
When I was younger, I tended to act out projections upon me. I ’embodied’ them. That created a very undefinable personally, not easily understood by others. That’s what rebels do. They ring the bell of the illnesses in our society by acting them out. They ‘fashion, clothe’ these energies in themselves. In the higher realms, the archerypal energies that abide there, can be ‘fashioned’ too in our lives. There’s a wasifa for it on the sufipath: Ya musawir. Embodying compassion for example. Or beauty, love, kindness.

Back to the male/female relationship. Sometimes I get a projection upon me that’s in fact my mate’s internalized mother. That’s where my obstinacy plays up, ‘now wait a minute pall, that’s not me, it’s your mum!! ‘ The frustrations about her come to me. It creates arguing. It’s tricky and a sensitive subject for guys. Their inner mums aren’t to be touched. No way!! Because they love her of course. But they deny the pain spots. Probably too deep, to invisible for them. But perfectly visible for us as women. And they do act it out on us, very unaware of the projection.

I’ve talked about this with women friends and they all experience this same thing with their mates. It’s a hard one.

I hope what I try to say here makes sense to you.
Picture comes from this link:–dont-tell-wife.html