In the past few months, endeavors have been there to try to define something that’s coming up from the subconscious and plays out in relationships. Male/female. I can start to talk from studies, having read books, magazines, seen video’s, but that would be repeating other peoples experiences and opinions. Therefore, for me the only way to be authentic is to relate what I read, see on video’s and discuss with friends to my own experiences.
The problem arises here that I have to protect the integrity of my friends and relationships. So then I can never really come out with things in the open. Is it necessary at all? Is it again that demanding wanting to be understood? Or do I write in order to pinpoint a phenomenon in order to straiten something in our culture to promote balance. Hope it is that last thing.
So, here we go, let’s see what we discover in trying to define.
What we are going to talk about is projection. I’m going to share my experiences from what happens within.
As we probably all know by now, thought forms create a shape. Having been raised by a mum, the way culture had fashioned her, this made a deep impact. It contributed in the way we grew up, how her subtle body lovingly surrounded ours, we adapted the finer frequencies from hers into ours. We lived in it, it formed us.
Not sure if I can say this any further.
So there’s a gap that needs to be filled in for my understanding. Or……it is there, only different from the way my mind is trained to think.
For this we enter into a deeper layer of our experiencing. The fact that we begin to talk about childhood is that when we were very young, we still had that ability to know, experience things directly. How do you know that?? This, the western mind may question again.
There we go, it’s hard to define.
So now I’m just going to talk from vibrational experience.
I’m deeply interwoven with my mate. When I’m alone I experience myself as me. When he’s on the way back, I’m beginning to feel differently. I’m very trained to focus inwardly so I notice the change of colors, which are in fact frequencies. He has a very solid, green, grounding sort of energy that starts to be felt ‘in me’. It supports me.
In cases he goes through hard times that create stress, I see more red colors.
When we first met and a relationship grew, I noticed that my subtle body adapted to a feminine subtle body that felt very much like the way his mother was. Like I was mirroring that which he had been used to. Weird experience in fact and I’ve felt obstinate because of it because I wanted to feel who I was.
Another example. I relate this to what I’ve once read about Tibetan healers. When they are awaiting their client, before he or she enters the place where s(h)e is to be consulted, the Tibetan healers are already totally in tune with the ailment. They have the information about it ‘in themselves’. How different from the western medical approach, focussing on the outward manifestation of the illness.
Feeling the condition of the other inside of me is exactly what I experience. This is what I apply in my teaching too. I feel the condition of others in myself and therefore I give the yoga exercise that I feel I’d need, feeling that condition.
I’ve discussed these things with my sufi guide. She’s also a psychologist. She assures me that that sensitivity is a gift I have to treasure. A welcome contribution to the western outer approach. It’s always better to cure imbalances, diseases in the subtle body before they manifest in the physical body. That way operations or tough medicine perhaps aren’t needed. We say perhaps because it’s great it’s there when it is needed.
Back to projection.
When I was younger, I tended to act out projections upon me. I ’embodied’ them. That created a very undefinable personally, not easily understood by others. That’s what rebels do. They ring the bell of the illnesses in our society by acting them out. They ‘fashion, clothe’ these energies in themselves. In the higher realms, the archerypal energies that abide there, can be ‘fashioned’ too in our lives. There’s a wasifa for it on the sufipath: Ya musawir. Embodying compassion for example. Or beauty, love, kindness.
Back to the male/female relationship. Sometimes I get a projection upon me that’s in fact my mate’s internalized mother. That’s where my obstinacy plays up, ‘now wait a minute pall, that’s not me, it’s your mum!! ‘ The frustrations about her come to me. It creates arguing. It’s tricky and a sensitive subject for guys. Their inner mums aren’t to be touched. No way!! Because they love her of course. But they deny the pain spots. Probably too deep, to invisible for them. But perfectly visible for us as women. And they do act it out on us, very unaware of the projection.
I’ve talked about this with women friends and they all experience this same thing with their mates. It’s a hard one.
I hope what I try to say here makes sense to you.
Picture comes from this link: